OUR LITTLE MOMENTS IS WITH AN EDITOR NOW!!
Author diaries: Part 1
Writing progress
Okay, so now let’s start this FIRST NEWSLETTER 🥳
As you could see in the title, Our Little Moments, my freaking debut novel, is with an editor. I still can’t believe this.
But this is today. Let’s rewind a bit to what I’ve been doing in the last two months.
This story was a lot of work. And I mean a LOT. Writing the first draft of this book took over a year. Then I did a second draft, which took me 8 months!!
December and January were months of merciless editing. The first few chapters were hell to edit. I had a hard time with everything.
This was my first time actually editing a book which means I really just learned as I went. I’m usually the organized and always prepared type. This was beyond outside my comfort zone. But I learned a lot and I created a process that fits me and my weaknesses.
It’s been a great learning experience, but a very draining one. My first book (and probably all my later books) are pretty long. So it’s a lot of work and I clearly overestimated how much I am capable of doing while keeping my sanity.
But progress was made and everything with this book is now in motion to be published!
Now I am going to work on all the technical sides of publishing while the book is being polished 🫶
My feelings on Our Little Moments
Imposter syndrome has made a dramatic entrance into my life since I started getting the cover designed and reached out to my editor.
While editing, I was incapable of turning off the part of my brain that just shot negative self-talk my way like weapons:
“You’re not a good writer.”
“You can’t tell good stories.”
“Your story is boring. You’re boring.”
“You can’t write good stories.”
“This story isn’t good enough to be loved.”
“You aren’t good enough.”
It’s not easy to focus when your brain is firing all these your way. It’s also hard to stay motivated. But I held on because I realized Stella and Adrian’s story is so much more than their romance, their self-discovery or the uplifting friendships.
This story was the story my younger self needed to live. While editing this story, I realized just what I needed only two years ago.
I needed friends who could offer me comfort when I was struggling instead of criticizing me. I needed people to lift me up when I fell down. I needed my sister back in my life. I needed a gentle love to make me feel worthy and help me heal from all the wounds I carried.
This story isn’t perfect because it’s based on human emotions. And I love that about it. It’s flawed, but it speaks to people’s humanity. It spoke to mine and to most of my beta readers’.
Obviously, I must accept that it’s a story that's not made for everyone. Why? Because I am not for everyone.
My personality isn’t for everyone. My writing isn’t for everyone. And that’s okay. I’m slowly learning that I should be writing should be for the readers who love me for me, not for every single reader out there.
I re-read their story so many times and there really is something about these two that gets my heart every time. It’s the way they’re so gentle with each other, the way they pick each other up when life knocks them down.
I love their story so much, even if I doubt myself most of the time 😅
Mental health state
I’m tired. I’ve been neglecting myself for months to stay on top of everything, especially with editing Our Little Moments.
I need to rest. I need to reset my mental health, my physical health and recharge my happiness batteries.
Luckily, I have five weeks before my debut comes back to me so I can reset my batteries, have a little fun and take care of myself again.
However, I need to say something because I truly am a warrior for this. I edited a half of my debut novel WHILE SICK AND STUCK IN BED. I really should have rested and not have pushed through it like a crazy person, but I did. It means so much more to me to have finished editing knowing I had a terrible flu and was struggling with a lot of anxiety / imposter syndrome.
I’m proud of me.
This is your reminder to celebrate the acheivements you have that no one can see. No one knew I was sick while editing, no one knew how bad imposter syndrome could get, no one knew how close I got to giving up on my dreams, but. I. Pushed. Through.
I won the battles no one knew I was fighting and I know there are many battles you won that no one knows about so celebrate your damn self.
Healing
Oof, I’ve had a lot of highs and lows recently. I’ll try to name only the biggest ones since this first email is getting very long. I’m a yapper, you will have to accept it.
Progress
I’ve learned to be open about my emotions and struggles. This newsletters wouldn’t be coming to you if it wasn’t for all the healing I’ve been working on.
I’ve started to give myself grace for not knowing everything. I’ve always needed to be tough and strong and make it seem like I have everything together. But I know I don’t have it together MOST of the time. Plus, I’ve always been the golden child. Being praised for always succeeding made me paranoid of failing because I only received love when I succeeded in accordance to other people’s standards and goals. I used to have breakdowns because of the pressure I put on myself. Now, when those emotions come to the surface, I remind myself the standards I have for myself are not human and that set-backs are a part of life. Failing doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you human. I also now fight to live a life that fits my idea of happiness and success, not others’, despite how hard it can be at times.
I’ve learned to believe in my dreams when no one in my life does.
Challenges
I’m so fucking hard on myself.
I go from one extreme to another. I feel ridiculous when I voice my worries to someone else, but I go from being afraid my book will be hated by everyone and then being terrified my book will be a massive success, which would give me imposter syndrome and make me question my entire life. I don’t allow myself any middle ground, any nuance. Chances are, none of those scenarios will come true and what will is in that gray area I forget exists.
Reminders I’ve been needing/quotes I loved
You can’t heal what you don’t allow yourself to feel
A journey of a thousand steps begins with a single one
Be gentle with yourself. You can’t do it all and you can’t do it all perfectly on the first try. Allow yourself to have set-backs without feeling like a failure.
Conclusion
I’m going to end this on a positive note: Our Little Moments is preparing to be out in this world. That is a MASSIVE accomplishment. You will hold it in your hands soon!!!!
Everything is started to release this book. I know this couple will be a gentle reminder for the world to give yourself some grace and live a life that makes you happy. It has healed so many parts of me and I hope it will reach the readers who need the gentle reminders I poured into this book.
I can’t wait for you all to read this book. But more importantly, I can’t wait to see where life takes me. I’ve crossed a part of writing I thought I would never get to. I want to see how much I can grow and I hope you will stick around for that evolution. 🫶
Cough cough, book 2 is starting to live in my head a little bit too much these last few weeks…
Don’t forget to get some rest and take care of yourselves. 💕💕
Much love,
Sandrine Giroux
PS: Tell me what you want to see and/or what you loved about this email! I love getting to talk with you all 🫶